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Cristian Vogel: Assistenz - VINYL LPTitle: Assistenz Artist: Cristian Vogel Label: Shitkatapult Product Type: VINYL LP UPC: 4260217561084 Genre: Electronic Release Date: 2016 09 02 Number of Discs: 1 LP version. Includes download code. "The Assistenz is the culmination of a four year creative hot streak as vivid as any part of Cristian Vogel's long career. The trio of dancefloor oriented records formed by 2012's The Inertials (STRIKE 137CD), 2014's Polyphonic Beings (STRIKE 151CD LP)
Title: AssistenzArtist: Cristian Vogel
Label: Shitkatapult
Product Type: VINYL LP
UPC: 4260217561084
Genre: Electronic
Release Date: 2016-09-02
Number of Discs: 1
LP version. Includes download code. "The Assistenz is the culmination of a four-year creative hot streak as vivid as any part of Cristian Vogel's long career. The trio of dancefloor-oriented records formed by 2012's The Inertials (STRIKE 137CD), 2014's Polyphonic Beings (STRIKE 151CD/LP) and now The Assistenz are sensual pleasures: a lifetime of study of frequencies and rhythms on the frontline of the world's clubs has been put into the creation of sounds that interface with the nervous system and emotional responses with extraordinary immediacy. Together with the more abstracted album Eselsbrücke (SR 375CD, 2013), these form an enticing sonic narrative, each part revealing more about the whole [of Vogel's work]. The Assistenz, then, is many things: a personal document, a tribute to Copenhagen where it was recorded - but also the final piece in this bigger puzzle. While you will certainly hear some of the most fundamental and enduring vectors of underground music - dub, electro, acid, funk - flowing through the tracks, even those things are rebuilt from the molecular level, created completely afresh with new, precise, but somewhat skewed vision. His sound synthesis - increasingly done via the Kyma programming platform - is more and more able to reach beyond the 'synthetic' and impact in uncanny and wonderful ways. The most obvious sense of this is the way his sounds touch on the human voice: not just in the chattering, shimmering, singing tones of The Assistenz's ghostly centerpiece 'Barefoot Agnete', in the alien radio signals of 'The Merman's Dream' or even in the subliminal 'aaahs' hiding in the background of the noisy 'Vessels', but in the way any sound, anywhere in any track can sound peculiarly vocal, heard from the right angle. And it's not just the boundary between human and non-human, or that between acoustic and synthetic, that get blurred to the point of non-existence. In the voluptuousness of 'Hold' or the body-rocking funk of 'Cubic Haze' all the abstraction is grounded in sheer pleasure of bodily responses to the sound. Over some 25 years, Cristian's experiments have traced much of this weirdness and evolved with it, and his understanding of synthesis and algorithmic processes to create structure makes him one of the most important composers working today. The Assistenz expresses those relationships in ways that are beautiful, troubling, moving and scary, and which even make you want to dance." - Joe Muggs, June 2016.
Tracks:
1.1 Hold
1.2 Snowcrunch
1.3 Vessels
1.4 Telemorphosis
1.5 Barefoot Agnete
1.6 Cubic Haze
1.7 Signal Symbol
1.8 The Merman's Dream
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4.9 ★★★★★
Based on 5 reviews
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Product Reviews
★★★★★ 5
Great quality highly recommended
Great quality highly recommended for the summer or used on the oven great size
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Reviewed in the United States on May 22, 2026
★★★★★ 5
Good
Good value
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Reviewed in the United States on May 3, 2026
★★★★★ 5
Easy To Use
These work great for a really good price. I love using these when I'm making dishes that would be difficult to clean otherwise.
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Reviewed in the United States on March 15, 2026
★★★★★ 5
Good buy
Love these. Easy clean up and use. As described
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Reviewed in the United States on March 7, 2026
★★★★★ 4
Value, Durability, Everyday Use
What I liked:
- Price-to-value is the standout. These were significantly better priced than similar packs I’ve bought from local grocery stores and big discount retailers.
- For everyday, disposable use—think casseroles, baked pasta, brownies, roasted veggies—the lighter weight is perfectly fine.
- They stack neatly and are easy to store, which matters when you’re buying in bulk.
What I didn’t like:
- They’re a bit flimsier and not as thick as the store-brand pans I’ve used before. You can feel the difference when you handle them.
- For heavier dishes (large lasagnas, big roasts, or anything dense with sauces), a single pan can flex more than I’d like.
How I used them:
- Over the past couple of weeks, I’ve used these for baking brownies, roasting chicken thighs with vegetables, and prepping freezer meals. When I expected more weight or lots of liquid, I doubled up the pans, which solved the flex issue and kept everything stable.
- I also tested bending one to compare sturdiness. In the accompanying video, you’ll see me gently flexing the pan to show the “give.” In the photo, I placed this pan next to a thicker pan I bought at a regular store so you can see the difference in gauge.
My takeaway:
- If you need heavy-duty pans for very weighty dishes, these aren’t a perfect one-for-one replacement for thicker, premium options. However, for routine baking, storage, and serving—especially when you plan to toss the pan afterward—the cost savings make a lot of sense.
- Doubling them for heavier recipes is a simple workaround that maintains stability while still keeping the overall cost lower than buying thicker single-use pans.
Verdict:
- I’ll be purchasing these again for everyday use and bulk meal prep. The value is strong, and the performance is solid when you match the pan to the job or double up as needed.
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Reviewed in the United States on April 15, 2026