SKU: 72349041519

I Don't Care About Your Band

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I Don't Care About Your BandBy: Julie Klausner Read Julie Klausner's posts on the Penguin Blog In the tradition of Cynthia Heimel and Chelsea Handler, and with the boisterous iconoclasm of Amy Sedaris, Julie Klausner's candid and funny debut I Don't Care About Your Band sheds light on the humiliations we endure to find love and the lessons that can be culled from the wreckage. I Don't Care About Your Band posits that lately the worst guys to date are the ones who seem sensitive.

By: Julie Klausner  
Read Julie Klausner's posts on the Penguin Blog

In the tradition of Cynthia Heimel and Chelsea Handler, and with the boisterous iconoclasm of Amy Sedaris, Julie Klausner's candid and funny debut I Don't Care About Your Band sheds light on the humiliations we endure to find love--and the lessons that can be culled from the wreckage.

I Don't Care About Your Band posits that lately the worst guys to date are the ones who seem sensitive. It's the jerks in nice guy clothing, not the players in Ed Hardy, who break the hearts of modern girls who grew up in the shadow of feminism, thinking they could have everything, but end up compromising constantly. The cowards, the kidults, the critics, and the contenders: these are the stars of Klausner's memoir about how hard it is to find a man--good or otherwise--when you're a cynical grown-up exiled in the dregs of Guyville.

Off the popularity of her New York Times "Modern Love" piece about getting the brush-off from an indie rock musician, I Don't care About Your Band is marbled with the wry strains of Julie Klausner's precocious curmudgeonry and brimming with truths that anyone who's ever been on a date will relate to. Klausner is an expert at landing herself waist-deep in crazy, time and time again, in part because her experience as a comedy writer (Best Week Ever, TV Funhouse on SNL) and sketch comedian from NYC's Upright Citizens Brigade fuels her philosophy of how any scene should unfold, which is, "What? That sounds crazy? Okay, I'll do it."

I Don't Care About Your Band charts a distinctly human journey of a strong-willed but vulnerable protagonist who loves men like it's her job, but who's done with guys who know more about love songs than love. Klausner's is a new outlook on dating in a time of pop culture obsession, and she spent her 20's doing personal field research to back up her philosophies. This is the girl's version of High Fidelity. By turns explicit, funny and moving, Klausner's debut shows the evolution of a young woman who endured myriad encounters with the wrong guys, to emerge with real- world wisdom on matters of the heart. I Don't Care About Your Band is Julie Klausner's manifesto, and every one of us can relate.

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SKU: 72349041519

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4.6 ★★★★★
Based on 13 reviews
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Tracy and Christina
Carnegie, US
★★★★★ 5
Amazing!
Format: Kindle, Format: Kindle
This book was phenomenal, I devoured it within a few days! For this being a debut novel, it is fantastic and I would’ve thought the author was a seasoned author. I have zero complaints about this book. Let me start by saying that the world building was phenomenal. I could picture everything in my head because of how detailed it was — that’s how good it was written. And I absolutely love the “captive/captor” trope so much, it’s become one of my favorite tropes, so I was pleasantly surprised to see that this book had that. I loved the banter between Rogue and Ara — they’re both snarky and witty, plus with the romantic tension, it made the dialogue that much better. Speaking of romantic tension, yes there is spice but not so much of it that it overrides the plot, which I loved. For me, this would probably be on the 3/5 level of spice. This book had a ton of plot twists and I thoroughly enjoyed it.
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Reviewed in the United States on November 13, 2024
R
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R Spires
Houston, US
★★★★★ 4
High on Tropes and Satisfaction
Format: Kindle
This is a great Romantasy book full of action, adventure, and everything you look for in this genre. I won’t lie: it does kinda feel like the author found every common trope from every successful book of this kind and threw them all into this novel. But if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. Especially in romance, there’s a large audience who has specific expectations, and they want them every time. Nothing wrong with that and many times I’m one of them. I have no idea what defines a spoiler honestly, so spoiler alert!!!!!!! Tropes include: Only one bed at the inn/bar Dissatisfaction with life before hunk appears Lost royalty The chosen one Montage of dress up time followed by shocked hunk Forbidden romance between two from rival peoples Power that cannot be controlled, simply guided/asked Gathering intel at the inn/bar FMC who knows how to fight/use weapons well There’s probably more but no need to list them all. Good story and I would recommend!
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Reviewed in the United States on June 14, 2024
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Melinda
Lexington, US
★★★★★ 5
Beauty as an assassin? Yes, please.
Format: Kindle
I am a sucker for Beauty and the Beast retellings, especially when there is fae magic involved. This story is a stand-alone and can easily be read and enjoyed as such, but the story in the background is waiting to unfold. Briannis is a lost woman trying to find her place in the world. She happens to be an excellent assassin, but only when there is a good reason behind the job. She runs afoul of the law and is coerced into killing the King of Fae. Their tale begins with much violence and mistrust. They reach an understanding that turns into more as they are stuck inside the Keep thanks to the murderous roses encasing the building. Some of my favorite quotes "This is not very..." "Proper?" His low drawl curled around her guts, sweet and syrupy. "I thought you'd realise by now that I'm far from a proper man, Miss Iavi." She swallowed hard. "You're... you're not making sense. You don't even like me." "I don't?" he said dryly. "I tried to kill you! Three times in a row!" "You may want to leave," he added, barely even moving his lips. His voice was low and raspy, little more than a growl; the words came out with laboured breaths. "Before I no longer let you." "You can’t just act like you didn’t have your fingers inside me a few hours ago! That’s not something you talk about over strawberries!" He took a sip of tea. "You’ve had your knife inside me too." "That," she said exasperatedly, "is something extremely different." "In the sense that I’d be happy to repeat one incident and not the other, yes." He smiled at her over his teacup, shameless... "You make a terrible king out of me, Briannis Iavi." "Are you very sure? There’s no need to be polite if you—" "I’m not being polite!" A trembling laugh escaped her. "I have no intention at all of being polite to you!"
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Reviewed in the United States on August 25, 2023
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Jessica Peyton
New York, US
★★★★★ 4
So cute
Format: Kindle
I really enjoyed this retelling! This read was a quick read, and had all the love you need in it! I love the King and the assassin. Cannot wait to continue this series!
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Reviewed in the United States on August 18, 2023
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BuCNMNCJ
Los Angeles, US
★★★★★ 3
Love how this author writes, BUT..
Format: Kindle
I wanted to love everything about this book. I had this book release on my calendar. I read it the moment it became available. I’ve become a big fan after Marshall’s Blood and Bindings series, and I think she does a beautiful job writing complex, thoughtful characters. BUT. Spoilers below- This book missed the mark in two important ways for me. The first is the intro - this “very proper lady assassin” - first of all - we are supposed to believe that SHE is who the most powerful man in the city chose to assassinate his mortal enemy? Sure. She had killed some unsuspecting guys. But the leap from there to a Fae king with magic? And when she goes to do it- she does it by blindly bumbling around his castle and walking into the room where he is and trying to stab him in the middle of the day? I am willing suspend a lot of disbelief for a good story, but that was a major stretch that made the whole premise of the book feel contrived. And second… a whole dead side of his body? Like … dead. As in.. she smelled the rot. Saw the skeleton and dead mouth and skin. And then … had sex with it? Um. I’m no prude but … yuck. I couldn’t get past the necrophiliac imagery and visual, and it was a major turn off for me.
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Reviewed in the United States on August 16, 2023

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