SKU: 74053480833

Pissed Jeans ‎– Half Divorced [Loser Edition Green Vinyl] – New LP

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Pissed Jeans ‎– Half Divorced [Loser Edition Green Vinyl] – New LPPissed Jeans has never been a band that goes halfwaytheyre known for their feral vocals, biting lyrics, buzzsaw guitars, and unhinged live shows, and their sixth album, Half Divorced is no exception. These songs skewer the tension between youthful optimism and the sobering realities of adulthood, and when viewed through frontman Matt Korvettes scowl, everything takes on a level of violent absurdity. Half Divorced by Pissed Jeans Pissed Jeans notorious

Pissed Jeans has never been a band that goes halfway—they’re known for their feral vocals, biting lyrics, buzzsaw guitars, and unhinged live shows, and their sixth album, Half-Divorced is no exception. These songs skewer the tension between youthful optimism and the sobering realities of adulthood, and when viewed through frontman Matt Korvette’s scowl, everything takes on a level of violent absurdity.

Pissed Jeans’ notorious acerbic sense of humor remains sharper than ever as they dismember some of the joys that contemporary adult life has to offer, from helicopter parents to stolen catalytic converters to being $62,000 in debt. On “Seatbelt Alarm Silencer,” Korvette growls, “Call it a death drive but that ain’t fair / Drive implies I’m headed somewhere.”

So where does a band like Pissed Jeans go after nearly twenty years of making music, after becoming fathers, after marriages, and after divorces? Existence has festered to a boiling point. Korvette said, “Half-Divorced has an aggression within it, in terms of saying, I don’t want this reality. There’s a power in being able to say, I realize you want me to pay attention to these things, but I’m telling you that they don’t matter. I’m already looking elsewhere.”

Even within the brutality that Korvette conjures on songs like “Killing All the Wrong People” (“If violence is now their form of play / Let’s aim em towards those who made em that way”), the energy on some of these songs is inadvertently, well, fun. Listening to this album will give even the most jaded nine-to-fiver the sense that unrestrained freedom is still possible. And who else is going to rhyme “colonizer” with “moisturizer” anyway?

Korvette, Brad Fry (guitar), Randy Huth (bass) and Sean McGuinness (drums) weren’t in any rush to finish Half-Divorced, which was recorded by Don Godwin at Tonal Park in Takoma Park, Maryland. “We’re not the kind of band that bangs out a new record every two years,” Korvette said. “Pissed Jeans is truly like an art project for us, which is what makes it so fun.” This lack of restraint rages within the songs that unexpectedly veer into classic hardcore punk territory—often coming in at under two minutes long and erupting like the “butane tank explosion” Korvette sings about in “Junktime.”

This distilled energy makes Half-Divorced sound menacing and dangerous. Korvette said, “We realized we’d never really fucked with pop punk, and we thought, this is something that isn’t going to be immediately recognizable as cool. So let’s challenge ourselves to make it feel cool to us.”

There’s also a Pink Lincolns cover, “Monsters,” on which Korvette sings, “People are more hideous than monsters.” And in the last song, “Moving On,” Korvette sneers, “Cheesing into my cameraphone / Pretending that I’m not alone / Life’s the first thing that we all postpone.” One gets the sense that Pissed Jeans refuses to “postpone” life in quite the same way—life, like art, is something that happens now, not later.

The word “divorce” falls in line with the moments of humiliation and shame that are held up for all to see on this album. Korvette said, “If you say something enough or if you just allow it to exist publicly, then it loses its evil monster-in-the-closet thing.” There is clarity to be found within both the light and the dark, in both the marriage and the divorce. As the chorus of the last song calls out: “I’m moving on, I’m moving on, I’m moving on.”
 

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SKU: 74053480833

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Sabreena Latham
Los Angeles, US
★★★★★ 5
Love!!!!! GET IT!! It’s a steal
Absolutely LOVEEEEEE it! The LED light strip sucks though lol. It falls off. So we glued it…. 🤣 but it’s such a good shelf!! The lights look super cool on it! Easy to assemble. Great size. Perfect size.
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Reviewed in the United States on December 27, 2025
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Miah
Alexandria, US
★★★★★ 5
Solid Floating Shelves 🛠️🏠
Color: Black, Number Of Shelves: 4, Size: 15.7in
I have installed four sets of the black floating shelves in my office. They are made of high quality materials, featuring a sophisticated black woodgrain finish with a natural texture. Supposedly, each unit can handle up to 22 pounds, though I would not recommend testing that limit with your vintage bowling ball collection if you value your flooring. They are awesome. The value is good for a set of two. Each shelf measures 22x7x1 (56x17x3 cm) inches, providing a decent amount of storage for books or decor. The installation was straightforward since the hardware for multiple wall types was included. They work well in the kitchen for spices or in the bedroom for personal belongings. One tip for a secure fit: use a level during installation and make sure the bracket is flush against the wall before sliding the shelf on, or your photos might look like they are sliding off a mountain 📐 These shelves offer a clean, modern look and stay stable once mounted correctly. They are a practical choice for adding functional display space to any room 🖼️
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Reviewed in the United States on May 4, 2026
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Tyler Kline
Birmingham, US
★★★★★ 5
Good looking shelves and easy install - skip the included drywall anchors
Color: Black, Number Of Shelves: 2, Size: 22in
I installed these shelves in a bedroom to get things off my dresser and some decor. Once mounted they look really nice. The black finish looks clean and modern and they blend in well with the room. Installation was pretty straightforward. The metal bracket mounts to the wall first and then the shelf slides over the bracket. As long as you take your time lining things up it’s a simple project. One thing I strongly recommend is not using the white plastic self-drilling drywall anchors that come with the kit. I’ve used that style before on other projects and they tend to strip out easily and leave larger holes in drywall. I used better anchors instead and the shelves mounted much more securely. The rest of the hardware worked fine and once installed the shelves feel solid and hold items well. Pros - Clean modern look - Easy installation - Feels solid once mounted - Good size for books or decor Cons - The small level included isn’t very accurate — use your own level - One of the metal brackets was slightly bent out of the box but straightened out easily Helpful tip: Use your own level and better drywall anchors if you have them. It makes installation easier and the shelves will mount much more securely. Final thoughts: For the price these are nice looking floating shelves that install easily and work well for light storage and decor.
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Reviewed in the United States on March 13, 2026
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Coffman, H
Cuba, US
★★★★★ 5
Cheap, and effective!
Color: Black, Number Of Shelves: 4, Size: 15.7in
Looks good, works great, low cost. I'll be purchasing more in the future.
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Reviewed in the United States on May 12, 2026
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Amazon Customer
Fort Morgan, US
★★★★★ 4
Cute for coffee bar!
Color: Black, Number Of Shelves: 4, Size: 15.7in
Great for above my coffee bar. Easy to mount and align. Seems stable!
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Reviewed in the United States on April 14, 2026

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